Newsletter & Family Devotion

God Loves YOU SO Much—That’s Why He Gave You And I The 10 Commandments!

Family, everything God tells us to do, or tells us not to do; is for our good, protection, provision and blessing. The 10 Commandments are God guiding us into what’s best for our life. They, guide us into a right relationship with God. They’re foundational for our faith and relationship with Him and others. Will you choose to trust Jesus and allow Him to bless you, protect you, and provide you with the best life and eternal life? Family, that kind of trust only becomes real—when we act on His Commands—By obeying them.

Exodus 20:14, “You must not commit adultery.” Now, as we jump into this command. First, let’s remember God wants sex to stay within the bounds of marriage. God created sex for both pro-creation and for pleasure—but He commands that it stays within the bounds of marriage. God tells us through the Bible that anything outside of the bounds of marriage is sexual immorality and sin. This includes pornography, homosexuality and sex changes. God made us male and female. If you’re struggling with any of these things, God is ready to help you find a better way. In His grace and power, He will deliver you. Let us know if we can help.

Today, as we look at this command—I want to look at how to Affair Proof Your Marriage And Stay Pure. God gave us sex as a tool for building our marriage, not destroying it.

Hebrews 13:5, “Husbands and wives be faithful to each other. God will judge those who are immoral and commit adultery.”

There is so much to talk about on this issue, I’m going to use an outline form to communicate.

First, What Causes Affairs?

• Unmet needs
• Unfulfilled expectations
• Unresolved conflict
• Undeveloped self-worth

Now, these aren’t excuses for adultery, but they can lead people down that path. Proverbs 22:14, “Adultery is a trap…” (GN) Don’t fall in the trap.

So how can we affair proof our marriage?

1. Make a Commitment to God’s Standards.

Psalm 119:9, “How can a person keep his or her way pure? By living according to your Word.”  Now, I know someone may be saying, “but my wife/husband is not meeting my needs.” That’s not an excuse. Proverbs 5:15, “Be faithful to your own wife and give your love to her alone.” (GN) Make a commitment to God’s Standards and He will bless you in the long run, in life and with a great marriage! That’s the first step if you want to protect your marriage.

2. Magnify the Consequences.

Many people downplay or shrink what the effects of adultery will be. Adultery hurts and destroys families; it hurts and destroys your soul and more. Proverbs 6:32, “The one who commits adultery is an utter fool for they destroy their own soul.” (GN) Matthew 18:9, “Jesus said if your eye causes you to sin, it’s better to lose an eye than lose your soul.”  Proverbs 6:26, “Adultery will cost a person all that they have.” (GN) The Bible says you don’t get away with disobeying God’s laws. You reap what you sow. One day you will stand before God. Hebrews 13:4, “God will judge those who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” (GN)

3. Maintain Your Marriage.

I Corinthians 7:3, “A man should fulfill his duty as a husband, a wife should fulfill her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other’s needs.” (GN)

The top five needs of most men are:

1. Sexual fulfillment
2. Recreational companionship
3. An attractive spouse
4. Domestic support
5. Admiration

The top five needs of most women are:

1. Affection
2. Conversation
3. Honesty and openness
4. Financial support
5. Family commitment

I Corinthians 7:5, “Do not cheat each other of normal sexual intercourse or you will expose yourselves to the obvious temptation of Satan.” (Ph) You must commit to meet each other’s needs. Work on building and growing your relationship. Spend time together on a regular basis. Keep dating and doing fun things together. Maintain and grow your marriage.

4. Manage Your Mind. If you’re not on guard, the enemy will use your mind, to slowly lead you down the wrong path. Sadly, sexual temptation is everywhere, we see it, we hear it. Here’s the process the enemy will use to cause us to fall into adultery.

Step One– Accepting Sinful Thoughts In My Mind. James 1:14-15, “Temptation is the pull of a person’s own evil thoughts and wishes. These evil thoughts lead to evil actions, and afterwards to death.” (LB) There’s an old saying, ‘You are what you think.’ If you constantly think lustful, dirty, obscene thoughts; that’s the kind of person you’ll become. It’s impossible not to be affected by what you let into your mind, what you dwell on.  2 Timothy 2:22, “Turn your back on lustful desires and give your positive attention to goodness, integrity, love and peace.” (Ph) Romans 16:19, “I want you to be wise about what is good and innocent about evil.” If you’re single, turn your sex drive into creative ways to serve God. Don’t repress your sexual drive, don’t release it illegitimately, but re-channel it in a way that pleases God.

Step Two: Emotional Non-Physical Involvement. An emotional non-physical involvement with someone other than your spouse can destroy you. And it can lead to the next step.

Step Three: Physical Involvement. If you cross this line, it will take everything you have with the grace of God to get right.  Don’t cross the line. God tells you all this for your protection.

Step Four: Rationalizing The Affair. Jeremiah 17:9, “The heart is deceitful and desperately wicked. Who can know it?” So, to affair proof your marriage you’ve got to make a commitment to God’s standards, magnify the consequences, maintain your marriage by meeting their needs. And you’ve got to manage your mind and keep it pure.

5. Maintain Proper Relationships.

One- Don’t listen to a member of the opposite sex tell you their marriage problems.

Two- Women, don’t go fishing for compliments.

Three- Be aware of a sense of electricity between you and a member of the opposite sex.

Four- Avoid a prolonged stare.

Five- Avoid a lingering touch.

Watch out for people signaling their interest in you. Watch out for these behaviors in your own life. Take this seriously, it’s for your protection. Ephesians 5:3, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality.”

6. Minimize The Opportunity.

I Corinthians 10:12, “Be careful.  If you’re thinking `I’d never behave like that” let this, be a warning to you.  For you too may fall into sin.” (LB) Another thing you need to do is choose your friends very carefully. Make sure you have committed Christian friends. 1 Corinthians 15:33, “Bad company corrupts good character.”  Malachi 2:15, “Guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with your wife.” You’ve got to minimize the opportunity.

The Point- Set Up Godly Guidelines To Affair Proof Your Marriage And Stay Pure!

If you’ve fallen in some way here’s some ways to get right. It’s actually like a ship. You bring it into the dry dock; Refit it, Retrain, Repair it and send it back out.

THREE Steps To The Pathway Back To Purity:

1. Acknowledge The Sin.

Psalm 51:1-4, “Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. 2 Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. 3 For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night. 4 Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just.” 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just and will forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  Confess and receive forgiveness from God and then you can forgive yourself. Even if there were no heaven it’s worth it. Get rid of the shame.

2. End The Relationship Immediately.

Hebrew 3:15, “Remember what it says: ‘Today when you hear his voice, don’t harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled.’” Repentance is more than saying ‘I’m Sorry.” It’s turning from your sin and turning to God and His way. It will be hard but do it. Don’t delay, do it now.

3. Avoid All Contact With That Person From Now On.

If you work with this person, or have regular contact because of some relationship, you may consider quitting your job etc. If you can’t, then set up accountability, never be alone with this person, limit your contact. Then you make a commitment, to be morally pure, the rest of your life forward. That means you’ll have sex; and work to think about—only the person you’re married to.

Set Up Godly Guidelines To Affair Proof Your Marriage And Stay Pure!

Matthew 5:27-30, “You have heard it said, You shall not commit adultery, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at another person lustfully has already committed adultery with them in their heart. If your right eye or hand causes you to stumble, gouge it out…cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”

We love you all!

Pastor Doug & Julie

3 Steps to Put God at the Center of Your Life—And Your Family’s Life in 2025!

By Lauren Raines

I’m not a big fan of New Year’s Resolutions. I’ve found I get excited about the changes the first few weeks, then slowly, my enthusiasm fades, and I eventually drop the plan. Resolutions tend to fail when we overcommit and try to change too much at one time.

Instead of trying to change everything at once, I’ve found greater success when I’m intentional in one area of my life. Then, when I’ve made good progress in that area, I can move on to a new goal.

One of my daily goals this year is to get into God’s Word daily. We can try our hardest to change and “be better” at something, but we often fail when we try in our own strength. God’s Word is alive and powerful (Hebrews 4:12) and a weapon of warfare (Ephesians 6:17). We activate the weapon by engaging with it.

A study from the Center for Bible Engagement confirmed the power of God’s Word. Statistical analysis revealed that Christians who were engaged in the scripture for at least four days of the week had 57 percent lower odds of getting drunk, 61 percent lower odds of viewing pornography, and 231 percent higher odds of discipling others. Wow, God’s Word is mighty!

Whether you make New Year’s Resolutions or not, something is exciting about a fresh start. And that’s what January is for us—a new beginning. So, what if we took this new beginning and used it to refocus our attention on God?

Today, I want to share three steps to intentionally put God at the center of your life and family in 2025.

As a culture, we’re busier than ever. Whether it’s running our kids to the soccer field, basketball court, art studio, or youth group, we’re always on the go. Sadly, for many of us, we have a desire to read God’s Word, but finding the time to dive in is difficult. What if that changed this year? Reading God’s Word is one way to draw closer to Him, but in step two, I share more ways to seek Jesus as a family this year.

1. Assess the situation and develop a plan.

To set up new habits and rhythms, we must be intentional. The first step to success is taking a good look at our current focus. Before we rush to add items to our to-do list, we must take an honest look at our schedules. Where are we focusing our attention and energy? What takes up the most time in our week? And do the answers to these questions line up with the hopes and dreams we have for our lives? If we want to build a firm foundation of faith in our kids but rarely find the time to go to church or read God’s Word, we won’t create the foundation we desire and we won’t honor God! Jesus said this in Matthew 6:33, “Seek first a right relationship with me and the building of my church, and I will meet all your needs.” Before we start adding new intentions and resolutions, we must pause and assess. What’s been working well? What needs to change? Are we happy with the focus of our family? Are we putting God first?

2. Start with one intentional change.

Now that we know what’s working well and what isn’t, it’s time to start implementing change. To prevent overload, choose one thing to prioritize this month. To get us started, I’ve brainstormed ways to draw the family closer to Jesus as a family below:

After dinner, plan to read the Bible as a family for 5 to 15 minutes.

As a family, choose a devotional to go through together.

Make it a priority to be in worship each Sunday. When we don’t, we’re saying everything else we’ve done in the week is more important than God.

Create a family prayer journal and write down prayers and the answers when they come.

Read the Bible three times per week as a family before bed.

Choose a Bible verse to memorize together as a family.

Pray as a family once daily – honor and thank God, ask for help, and pray for others!

Serve at church and in your community together.

Plan a family fast. Whether fasting sugar for a week or lunch for one day, fast and seek God as a family.

As we purposefully seek God, let’s choose one item to start adding to our family’s rhythms. When the month ends, pause again and ask: How did that go? Is there anything we need to tweak? After the new rhythm is implanted for a month, we can move on to another strategy or goal to focus on as a family.

3. Get your kids involved.

Experts say kids are more likely to eat foods they’ve helped prepare. What if the same is true when it comes to adding in new rhythms and routines? As we seek God’s face, we must ask our kids to help us brainstorm ways to draw closer to God in 2025. We may be surprised by what we hear! Model reading your Bible faithfully. Encourage your kids to read the Bible each day, if only for 5 minutes. Give them incentives to read their bible. Ask your kids how God works in their lives? How do they hear from God? What is God speaking to them about this year?

God is always working, but sometimes we don’t see it because our spiritual eyes aren’t fully awake. We must be intentional in our faith walks, and slowly adding in new family rhythms is a great start to being more deliberate. In 2025, let’s be purposeful about seeking God FIRST with our life and family!